What Is It Really Like to Be Someone’s Legal Guardian in Virginia?

When the judge appoints you as someone's legal guardian, your life changes in ways you might not expect. I know this firsthand, not just as an attorney who has guided families through the guardianship process, but as someone who has served as a legal guardian and conservator myself.

Being a guardian is one of the most important responsibilities you can take on. It's also one of the most challenging, and in hindsight, it is one of the most rewarding roles. If you're considering guardianship or have recently been appointed, here's what you need to know about what the role really involves.

Understanding Your Role as a Guardian

Let's start with the basics. As a guardian in Virginia, you become the legal decision-maker for someone who cannot make decisions independently—whether that's due to age, disability, dementia, or mental illness. The person you're responsible for is called your "ward."

Your authority comes directly from the court. You didn't just volunteer for this role, a judge determined that this person needs protection and that you're the right person to provide it. That's a significant legal responsibility, and it comes with real obligations.

Two Types of Authority: Guardian and Conservator

It's important to understand that there are actually two distinct roles, and you might be serving in one or both:

Guardian – You make personal decisions about your ward's daily life, including where your ward lives, medical care, education, and social activities.

Conservator – You manage your ward's financial affairs, including paying bills, managing investments, and protecting assets.

These roles can be split between different people, or one person can serve in both capacities. The court decides what arrangement works best based on your ward's specific situation and the available qualified individuals.

Consider Co-Guardianship

If you have a family member or trusted person who can share this responsibility, I strongly recommend considering co-guardianship. Having a co-guardian means you have someone to:

• Discuss difficult decisions with

• Share the workload and responsibilities

• Provide coverage when you're unavailable

• Offer a different perspective on challenging situations

• Help prevent burnout

You might also have one person serve as guardian while another serves as conservator, dividing the personal care decisions from the financial management. This division can work well when one person has medical expertise while another has financial acumen.

Co-guardianship isn't just about making your life easier, it's about providing better protection for your ward through shared decision-making and built-in oversight.

Your Day-to-Day Responsibilities

So what does being a guardian actually look like in practice? While every situation is different, here are the core responsibilities you'll be handling:

Making Medical Decisions

As guardian, you'll make healthcare decisions for your ward. This means:

• Choosing doctors and specialists

• Deciding on treatment plans

• Giving consent for medical procedures

• Making end-of-life care decisions when necessary

This is often the most emotionally challenging aspect of guardianship. You're making decisions that directly impact someone's health and wellbeing. It requires you to balance medical advice, your ward's previously expressed wishes (when known), and what you believe is in the ward's best interest.

Determining Living Arrangements

You decide where your ward lives. This could mean:

• Keeping your ward in the current home with support services

• Moving your ward in with you or another family member

• Placing your ward in an assisted living facility

• Arranging for nursing home care

These decisions aren't just about safety and care, they're about quality of life. You'll need to consider your ward's needs, preferences, and dignity while also being realistic about what level of care is required.

Managing Daily Life

Beyond the big decisions, you're responsible for the ordinary details that make up daily life:

• Arranging transportation to appointments

• Ensuring proper nutrition

• Managing social connections and activities

• Overseeing clothing and personal care

• Making sure your ward has appropriate recreation and stimulation

Handling Finances (If You're Also the Conservator)

If you're serving as conservator, you're managing every aspect of your ward's financial life:

• Paying the mortgage or rent, utilities, and other bills

• Managing bank accounts

• Filing tax returns

• Protecting assets and investments

• Applying for benefits the ward may be entitled to

• Keeping detailed records of every financial transaction

The court takes financial responsibilities very seriously. You'll need to provide regular accountings showing exactly how you've managed your ward's money.

Working with the Court: Your Ongoing Obligations

Here's something many new guardians don't realize: being appointed is just the beginning. You have ongoing obligations to the court throughout your guardianship.

Annual Reports

Every year, you must file a report with the court documenting:

• Your ward's current condition and living situation

• Medical care your ward has received

• Changes in circumstances

• How you've fulfilled your duties as guardian

If you're also the conservator, you'll file separate annual accountings showing all financial transactions, complete with receipts and documentation.

Getting Court Approval for Major Decisions

Some decisions are so significant that you can't make those decisions on your own; you need to ask the court's permission first:

• Selling your ward's real estate

• Making large gifts from the estate

• Changing living arrangements substantially

• Major medical decisions (in some cases)

This requirement exists to protect your ward from potential abuse or poor decision-making. While it can feel like added bureaucracy, it's an important safeguard.

Staying Connected with the Court

The court may also:

• Require you to attend hearings

• Send investigators to check on your ward's welfare

• Ask for additional documentation or information

• Modify your authority based on changing circumstances

The Emotional Reality of Guardianship

The legal responsibilities are just part of the story. The emotional weight of guardianship is something you can't fully prepare for until you're living it.

The Burden of Difficult Decisions

You'll face choices that have no perfect answer. Do you prioritize your ward's independence or safety? What do you do when the best medical care means moving your ward away from a lifelong home? How do you balance your ward's wishes against what medical professionals recommend?

These decisions may keep you up at night. You may second-guess yourself. You worry that you're not doing enough, or that you're being too controlling.

Managing Relationships with Family Members

Even when your appointment is uncontested, serving as guardian can strain family relationships. Other family members may disagree with your decisions. Other relatives may feel shut out of the process or question your judgment or your motives.

You'll need to:

• Communicate clearly and regularly with family members

• Explain your decisions (while maintaining appropriate boundaries)

• Deal with criticism and pushback

• Navigate family dynamics that may have been complicated long before guardianship became necessary

This is another reason why co-guardianship can be so valuable. When two people share the role, family members see that multiple people are involved in decision-making, which can reduce accusations of impropriety or poor judgment.

Coping with Grief and Loss

If your ward has dementia or a degenerative condition, you're watching someone you care about slowly slip away. Each lost ability, each forgotten memory, is a small grief.

At the same time, you're responsible for making increasingly difficult decisions about care. The role requires you to be strong and decisive at exactly the moment when you feel most heartbroken and vulnerable.

Finding Balance in Your Own Life

Guardianship doesn't happen in isolation; you still have your own life, your own family, your own job, your own challenges. Finding balance is one of the hardest parts of the role.

You might struggle with:

• Taking time away from your ward (even though you need breaks)

• Setting boundaries when the role feels all-consuming

• Asking for help when you need it

• Maintaining your own physical and mental health

Again, having a co-guardian can make an enormous difference here. You can take turns, cover for each other, and ensure that someone is always available without either person being overwhelmed.

Getting Support: You Don't Have to Do This Alone

The good news is that you don't have to navigate guardianship without support. Here are resources that can help:

Professional Services

Consider connecting with:

• Care managers who can coordinate services and check on your ward

• Professional fiduciaries if you need help with financial management

• Home health aides and other caregivers

• Adult day programs that provide socialization and care

• Respite care services that give you necessary breaks

Legal Guidance

An experienced guardianship attorney can:

• Help you understand your responsibilities and authority

• Prepare required court filings

• Advise you on difficult decisions

• Represent you if disputes arise

• Ensure you're meeting all legal requirements

• Help you establish a co-guardianship arrangement

As someone who has served as a guardian myself while also practicing guardianship law, I know how valuable it is to have an attorney who understands both the legal technicalities and the emotional realities of the role.

Support Groups

Connecting with other guardians can be invaluable. Other guardians understand the unique challenges you're facing in a way that even well-meaning friends and family cannot.

When Guardianship Ends

Guardianships don't last forever. Guardianship ends when:

• Your ward regains capacity

• Your ward passes away

• The court determines guardianship is no longer necessary

• You resign (with court approval)

• The court removes you for failing to fulfill your duties

When guardianship ends, you'll have final obligations to the court, including a final accounting and report.

Is Guardianship Right for Your Situation?

Guardianship is a serious commitment. Before you accept this role, or if you're already serving and feeling overwhelmed, it's important to be honest about whether you're able to fulfill these responsibilities.

Consider:

• Do you have the time and energy this role demands?

• Can you make difficult decisions, even when those decisions are unpopular?

• Are you organized enough to handle the administrative requirements?

• Can you manage the emotional toll?

• Do you have support systems in place?

• Is there someone who could serve as co-guardian with you?

If the answer to any of these questions is no, that doesn't make you a bad person or a bad family member. It makes you honest. There are alternatives to individual guardianship, including professional guardians and co-guardianship arrangements.

Even if you've already been appointed and are struggling, it's not too late to ask the court to appoint a co-guardian or to transition to a different arrangement. Your ward is better served by a guardian who has adequate support than by someone who is overwhelmed and burning out.

Moving Forward with Confidence

Being a guardian is hard. It's emotionally draining, legally complex, and often thankless. But it's also meaningful work. You're protecting someone who cannot protect himself or herself. You're making sure your ward receives proper care, maintains dignity, and has interests protected.

If you're serving as a guardian or considering taking on this role, know that it's okay to ask for help. It's okay to admit when you're struggling. It's okay to need support—in fact, getting support makes you a better guardian.

With over 30 years of experience practicing law, I've seen guardians handle this role in all kinds of ways. The ones who do it best aren't necessarily the smartest or the most organized—those who succeed are the people who approach it with humility, who ask for help when needed, and who keep the ward's best interests at the center of every decision.

I've also seen how much easier and more effective guardianship becomes when two people share the responsibility. If you have someone in your life who could serve alongside you, I encourage you to seriously consider that option.

Get the Support You Need

If you're facing guardianship decisions in the Richmond area or surrounding counties, I'm here to help. As both an attorney and someone with personal experience as a legal guardian, conservator and family caregiver, I understand what you're going through—not just the legal complexities, but the emotional realities too.

Let's talk about your situation and how I can support you through this challenging journey. Whether you need help establishing a guardianship, setting up a co-guardianship arrangement, or getting guidance on your ongoing responsibilities, I'm here to help.

Connie Clay has over 30 years of legal experience. As someone who has served as a legal guardian, conservator, and family caregiver herself, she brings both professional expertise and personal understanding to every case. Contact Clay Law VA at 804.238.7737 to schedule a consultation.