Richmond, VA Family Law: Your Questions About Custody and Visitation Answered
When you're facing custody or visitation decisions, you likely have several questions running through your mind. Will I still see my children? What does the court care about the most? How do I even start this process? These concerns are completely normal, and you're not alone in wondering about them.
After more than 30 years of practicing law, I've heard these questions countless times from moms and dads. Whether you're in Richmond, Henrico, Chesterfield, Hopewell, Colonial Heights, Petersburg, Prince George or anywhere in RVA, the legal principles are the same, but each family's situation is unique. Let me walk you through the answers to the most frequently asked questions about custody and visitation in Virginia, so you can move forward with confidence and clarity.
What Factors Do Courts Consider When Deciding Custody?
Virginia courts always prioritize one thing above all else: the best interests of the child. This isn't just a catchphrase; it's a legal standard outlined in the Virginia Code that guides every custody decision.
Judges consider multiple factors when determining what arrangement serves your child best:
Your child's age, physical health, and emotional needs. A nursing infant has different needs than a teenager preparing for college. The court takes these developmental considerations seriously.
Each parent's relationship with the child. How involved have you been in your child's daily life? Who takes them to doctor's appointments, helps with homework, or attends school events? These everyday connections matter.
Your roles as parents, past and future. Courts look at who has been the primary caregiver and evaluate each parent's ability to continue meeting the child's needs going forward.
Your willingness to support the other parent's relationship with the child. This is crucial. Courts favor parents who encourage their child's relationship with the other parent, not those who try to interfere or create obstacles.
Any history of family abuse. Safety is paramount. If there's been abuse, neglect, or domestic violence, this weighs heavily in the court's decision.
Your child's preference. Depending on your child's age, intelligence, and maturity, the court may consider their reasonable preference about which parent they'd like to live with. However, this is just one factor among many, not the deciding factor.
The court isn't trying to punish anyone or pick sides. The goal is to create an arrangement that gives your child stability, safety, and the opportunity to maintain meaningful relationships with both parents whenever possible.
Understanding the Types of Custody: Legal vs. Physical
One of the most common sources of confusion is the difference between legal custody and physical custody. Let me break this down clearly, because understanding these terms is essential to navigating your case.
Legal custody refers to who makes the major decisions about your child's upbringing. This includes choices about education (which school they attend, special education services), healthcare (medical treatments, therapy, medications), and religious upbringing. Parents can share joint legal custody, meaning you make these important decisions together, or one parent may have sole legal custody with full decision-making authority.
Physical custody refers to where your child lives and with whom they spend their time. The parent with primary physical custody is where the child resides most of the time. Like legal custody, physical custody can be joint (shared relatively equally) or sole (primarily with one parent).
Many families have arrangements where parents share joint legal custody but one parent has primary physical custody. For example, you might both participate in decisions about your child's education and healthcare, but your child lives primarily with one parent and visits the other on a regular schedule.
What Are My Rights Before a Court Order Exists?
Here's something many parents don't realize: before any court order is issued, both parents have equal physical and legal custody rights under Virginia law. Neither parent has more authority than the other until a judge says otherwise.
If you and your child's other parent can agree on a custody and visitation arrangement, you can formalize that agreement as a consent order through the court. This gives your agreement legal weight and makes it enforceable.
However, if you cannot reach an agreement, either parent can file a petition with the court to establish custody and visitation. Once you file, the court will make determinations based on the best interests standard I described earlier.
Don't wait and hope things will work themselves out if you're experiencing conflict. Having a clear, court order protects both you and your child by establishing expectations and providing recourse if problems arise.
How Does the Court Decide on Visitation (Parenting Time)?
Virginia courts recognize that children generally benefit from having relationships with both parents. When one parent receives primary physical custody, the court typically grants visitation rights—often called "parenting time"—to the other parent, as long as it serves the child's best interests.
Common visitation schedules in the Richmond area include:
- Alternating weekends (Friday evening through Sunday evening)
- Midweek overnight visits
- Extended weekend arrangements
- Holiday and vacation time
- Summer visitation periods
These schedules aren't one-size-fits-all. Courts encourage parents to develop customized schedules that work for their family's needs and accommodate the child's school commitments, extracurricular activities, and developmental stage.
In cases involving safety concerns—such as abuse, neglect, substance abuse, or severe parental conflict—the court may order supervised visitation. This means visits occur with a neutral third party present, or exchanges happen in a supervised setting. While this can feel restrictive, it's designed to protect your child while still preserving the parent-child relationship.
In rare cases where a parent poses a serious danger to the child's welfare, the court may deny visitation altogether. However, this is uncommon and reserved for situations where contact could harm the child.
How Do Child Support and Parenting Time Work Together?
Many parents don't realize that custody arrangements directly affect child support calculations in Virginia. The state uses a formula that accounts for both parents' incomes and the amount of time each parent has the child.
Specifically, if both parents have the child for at least 90 days per year, Virginia adjusts the child support calculation to reflect this shared parenting time. The state counts parenting time based on overnight stays according to specific formulas.
This means that even if you're the non-custodial parent, substantial parenting time can reduce your child support obligation—or if you're the custodial parent, the other parent's significant time with the child may reduce the amount of child support you receive.
Child support and custody are interconnected but separate issues. You have a right to visitation with your child regardless of whether you pay child support, and conversely, the custodial parent should not withhold visitation because of unpaid support. These are distinct legal matters that the court addresses separately.
Can My Child Decide Which Parent to Live With?
Parents often ask me, "When can my child choose?" The truth is, there's no magic age in Virginia when a child gets to decide a custody arrangement.
That said, the court may consider your child's reasonable preference as one factor in the decision, particularly as children get older and demonstrate the maturity to express informed preferences. A 15-year-old's wishes will generally carry more weight than a 7-year-old's, but even teenage preferences aren't automatically controlling.
The court evaluates your child's age, intelligence, understanding of the situation, and reasons for a preference. Is your child expressing a genuine preference based on needs and relationships, or is the child being influenced by one parent? Is the child seeking to avoid reasonable rules and discipline? These nuances matter.
Remember, custody decisions affect your child's welfare in profound ways. Judges have the wisdom and experience to look beyond a child's stated preference to determine what truly serves the child’s best interests.
How Do I Start a Custody or Visitation Case?
If you need to establish custody or visitation through the court, here's what you need to know about the process:
Who can file? A parent or any "person with a legitimate interest" in the child's welfare can file a custody petition. This might include grandparents, stepparents, or others who have played a significant role in the child's life.
Where to file? The petition is filed in the Juvenile and Domestic Relations District Court (J&DR Court) in the jurisdiction where your child has lived for at least six months.
What happens next? After filing, the court schedules hearings where both parties present evidence and testimony. The judge will consider all the factors I've discussed and issue an order establishing custody and visitation.
This process can feel overwhelming, which is exactly why having experienced legal guidance matters. I can help you prepare your case, gather relevant evidence, and present your situation effectively to the court.
Can Custody or Visitation Orders Be Changed Later?
Life doesn't stand still, and neither do custody arrangements. Yes, either parent can request a modification of custody or visitation if circumstances have materially changed in a way that affects your child's welfare.
What counts as a "material change in circumstances"? Examples include:
- A parent's relocation to another city or state
- Significant changes in a parent's work schedule or living situation
- Concerns about a child's safety or wellbeing in one home
- A parent's remarriage or new significant relationship
- Changes in the child's needs as they grow older
- A parent's failure to follow the existing order
The key is that the change must be substantial and relevant to your child's best interests. Minor inconveniences or disagreements aren't enough to justify modification.
If you believe circumstances have changed significantly since your original order, don't hesitate to seek legal advice about pursuing a modification. Similarly, if the other parent requests a modification, you have the right to respond and contest it.
What Happens If Someone Violates the Order?
Court orders aren't suggestions—they're legally binding. If one parent violates a custody or visitation order, there can be serious legal consequences.
Common violations include:
- Refusing to allow scheduled visitation
- Consistently returning the child late from visits
- Taking the child out of state without permission or agreement
- Making major decisions without consulting the other parent (when joint legal custody exists)
- Interfering with the other parent's communication with the child
If your current order is being violated, the court can enforce the order through various means, including makeup visitation, fines, or even contempt proceedings. In serious cases, repeated violations can lead to modifications of the custody or visitation arrangement itself.
I want to emphasize something important: if you believe that compliance with the current order endangers your child, do not take matters into your own hands. Contact an attorney immediately and seek an emergency modification through proper legal channels. Self-help remedies can backfire and damage your position in court.
Moving Forward With Confidence
Custody and visitation decisions are among the most important legal matters you'll ever face. These aren't just legal issues; they're about your relationship with your child and your child's wellbeing and future.
I know firsthand how overwhelming these challenges feel. My personal experiences have shaped how I practice law: I listen without judgment, offer practical guidance grounded in real-world understanding, and advocate fiercely for your best interests and your child's welfare.
Every family's situation is different, and cookie-cutter solutions don't work. Whether you're just beginning to navigate custody and visitation issues or you need to modify an existing order, I'm here to help you understand your options and move forward with a clear plan.
You don't have to face this alone. Call me at 804.238.7737 to schedule your consultation. Together, we'll work through your questions and find solutions that fit your family's needs.
Connie Clay serves families throughout the Greater Richmond area—including Hopewell, Colonial Heights, Petersburg, and Prince George. She handles custody, visitation, child support, uncontested divorce, grandparents' rights, guardianship, and appeals from Juvenile and Domestic Relations Court to Circuit Court. Her approach combines legal excellence with the compassion that comes from personal experience navigating life's legal challenges.
