7 Child Support Myths Virginia Parents Still Believe in 2026-And the Truth Every Parent Needs to Hear

If you're navigating a child support case in the Richmond area, you're likely drowning in advice — from well-meaning friends, social media threads, and even the other parent. The problem? A lot of what you've heard is simply not true.

As a family law attorney serving families in the Richmond area, I see these myths cause real harm to parents and children every week. Some cost parents thousands of dollars. Others land them in contempt of court. A few even damage custody cases.

Here are the 7 most dangerous child support myths I encounter — and the truth behind each one.

Myth #1: "If the mother won't let me see my kids, I don't have to pay child support."

The Truth: This is one of the most common — and costly — misconceptions I hear. In Virginia, child support and visitation are completely separate legal obligations. A parent who withholds visitation is violating a court order, and the correct response is to file a motion for contempt or to enforce your custody and visitation order. Stopping child support payments in retaliation puts you in contempt of court, can result in license suspension, wage garnishment, and even jail time. Two wrongs don't make a right — and the court will hold you accountable for your obligation regardless of what the other parent does.

Myth #2: "Child support ends when my child turns 18."

The Truth: Not necessarily in Virginia. Under Virginia law, child support continues until a child turns 19 or graduates high school — whichever comes first. If your child is still enrolled as a full-time high school student at 18, support continues. There is one significant exception worth knowing: if your child has a physical or mental disability, Virginia courts can order child support to continue beyond age 19. If your child will require ongoing financial support due to a disability, this is something you need to address explicitly in your child support order — don't assume it will be handled automatically. Don't assume the support obligation ended. Verify the status with your attorney or the Virginia Department of Child Support Enforcement (DCSE) before you stop paying.

Myth #3: "I can quit my job — or cut my hours — to lower my child support payments."

The Truth: I handled a case that illustrates exactly why this doesn't work. My client's ex had worked full-time for years. The moment our child support case was filed, that parent suddenly switched to part-time, conveniently cutting reported income in half.  The judge didn't buy it for a second. I presented evidence of the parent's full work history, employer records showing full-time hours were still available, and the suspicious timing of the sudden change. The court imputed income — meaning it calculated child support based on what the parent was capable of earning, not the artificially reduced hours being worked.  Virginia courts will not reward parents who voluntarily reduce their income to avoid supporting their children.

Myth #4: "Only the father pays child support."

The Truth: Virginia law is gender-neutral when it comes to child support. The obligation falls on the non-custodial parent — regardless of sex. If the father has primary physical custody, the court may order the mother to pay. The calculation is based on both parents' gross incomes, the custody arrangement, and the child's needs — not on assumptions about gender roles.

Myth #5: "The amount set by the court can never change."

The Truth: Child support orders in Virginia can be modified when there has been a material change in circumstances — such as a significant increase or decrease in either parent's income, a change in custody, or new childcare or medical expenses. However, changes don't happen automatically. You must file a petition to modify the order. Until a court officially modifies the amount, you are legally required to pay the original amount in full, even if your situation has changed.

Myth #6: "I can pay the other parent directly and it counts."

The Truth: If the court has ordered payments to be made through Virginia's DCSE, paying the other parent directly does not count toward your child support obligation — legally, it's treated as a gift. Every dollar paid outside the system is a dollar the DCSE will still show as owed. That said, many parents have a cooperative relationship and manage child support through payment apps or other informal means — and that's perfectly fine if your court order specifically allows for direct payments. The key is knowing exactly what your order says so you can choose the method that works best for your family. Follow whatever payment method your order authorizes and keep records regardless of how you pay.

Myth #7: "I can discharge child support debt in bankruptcy."

The Truth: Child support is one of the few debts that cannot be wiped out through bankruptcy. It is a priority obligation under federal bankruptcy law. Filing for bankruptcy will not eliminate past-due child support, stop enforcement actions like wage garnishment, or reduce what you owe. If you're struggling to pay, the right move is to petition the court for a legitimate modification — not to pursue bankruptcy as a workaround.

The Bottom Line: Myths Are Expensive

Every one of these myths has a common thread: acting on bad information hurts your children, your case, and your finances. Virginia courts prioritize the best interests of the child.

The most important thing you can do before making any decision about child support is talk to an attorney who knows Virginia family law.

 Questions About Child Support in the Richmond, VA Area?

Whether you're seeking to establish a fair child support order, modify an existing one, or navigate a situation where an order isn't working as it should, I'm here to help ensure every child gets the support he or she deserves — and every parent understands his or her rights.

📞 Call 804.238.7737 to find out if I can help you with your child support matter. We’ll take the time to understand your circumstances before scheduling a consultation.

This blog post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Every case is unique, and outcomes depend on the specific facts and circumstances involved.